AnitasButt's Interview Show John Claudio
by AnitasButt
Summary: AnitasButt's Interview Show - John Claudio


Okay! First entry! Boy this seems weird… ^^() Okay, well first off, lemme just say that some people are stinky because they don't like fanfiction.net users using their characters… *cough*LaurellkHamilton*cough*AnneRice*cough* whew, 'scuse me. Had something in my throat. Okay, so now I'm going to interview people such as Anitra (look it up on babynames.com, it's a real name and it means the same thing as A/n/i/t/a.) Black and John Claudio. So yeah. Now, on with the Interviews and whatnot!  
  
*****  
  
Announcer: And now… The moment we've all been waiting for… The top ten Simpson Quo- I mean Anita's Butt's Interview Show! All copyrights to her since she couldn't use some other certain characters… Okay, I've gone on too long! Now, the cute, funny, and all around loveable AnitasButt!  
  
AnitasButt: Why thank you announcer guy…  
  
Announcer: No problem! And my name is Mysterious Announcer Guy, for future reference. You may find about me later…  
  
AnitasButt: Okay! *getting nervous in front of audience* er… So, this is my show! Wait! This is part of my imagination, so I get to think up what's on my presently blank stage… *thinks up some furniture including a comfy couch, a huge lounge chair behind a cool desk, and a neat chair next to it. Also a window in the background just for the frell of it.*  
  
AnitasButt: Right, now, onto the interviewees! Mysterious Announcer Guy, make the first one appear!  
  
Announcer: He's well known for his suave manner, and love of blood. While looking good in black and white, he also looks good against satin sheets, please welcome, Jean- *cough cough* pardon me, John Claudio! *John Claudio appears on the chair next to AnitasButt*  
  
John Claudio: *smoothes his buttons on his white peek-a-boo shirt* Mon Dieu! That was quite a surprise! *looks around* Er.. May someone please explain why I am here, and where "here" is?  
  
AnitasButt: Why, you're on AnitasButt's Interview Show!  
  
John Claudio: … isn't that redundant, ma petite's fond?  
  
AnitasButt: *melts* He called me his little bottom… *continues to melt*  
  
John Claudio: Would you mind not staring at me with those weird eyes…?  
  
AnitasButt: Oh… So beautiful… Okay! Now down to business!!!  
  
John Claudio: …  
  
AnitasButt: Okay, now the traditional questions: If you had one hugemungously long nose hair coming out of each nostril, would you want me to tell you to cut it, or would you not know?  
  
John Claudio: *Covers nose* What?! Pardon, ma petite's fond, but do you have a mirror? Are you trying to tell me something?  
  
AnitasButt: …LMAO!!! Okay, no, its not you, it's this one guy that I'm not going to say, like certain Heather… *glares at Heather*  
  
John Claudio: … I think that you are scarier than I am.  
  
AnitasButt: ^-^ No worries, I still love ya Heather!  
  
John Claudio: How long does this go on?  
  
AnitasButt: Now hold on a cotton pickin' minute! You have all night! Now, if your face looked like a pig, and people called you Pig Boy behind your back, would you wear a paper bag over your head even if you didn't know about the people calling you Pig Boy?  
  
John Claudio: If I were any less good looking, I'm sure A**er would tell me… Hey, what the…? Why is A**er's name bleeped out?  
  
AnitasButt: *sigh* Because your "maker" said that I can't use any of her "children" on this site. Also, because I haven't thought up a name for your beloved second banana yet. Sorry hon.  
  
John Claudio: … is that why my name is John Claudio on here instead of J**n C**de?  
  
AnitasButt: *smacks head* Boy… this one sure catches on fast…  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
AnitasButt: Okay, I think that's enough of you for tonight. I think your "maker" makes you out to be too much. Love you much, but you need more of an American brain in there instead of the old one… Whatever. *pushes the eject button and John Claudio goes flying into the air and out of the studio*… Good thing vampires can fly… hopefully… even though I've never heard if that particular one doing any such thing. *Shouts to John Claudio* We'll talk later on blood sucking schedules! *turns back to audience* Okay, that was tiring. I guess I'll leave y'all now, seeyas laters *blows kisses* And that's why the French don't wash! *walks off stage*  
  
Announcer: *plays some cool techno music as AnitasButt walks off.* 


End file.
